Author: Allison Cooke // CW: Disordered Eating Unfortunate as I was to discover that commonality of comorbidity of mental illnesses, the relation in symptoms leads to a relation in treatment, meaning although one problem may be presented in different ways, the aid is also found in one way but can be applied to a variety of symptoms. Personally, I survive through a diagnosis of Bipolar II disorder and generalized anxiety, as well as ADHD which this article pertains to, however an illness I have not been officially diagnosed in is Anorexia Nervosa. The concept of diagnosis in the mental health field as a way of validation of sickness is privileged in the simplest of terms. The accessibility of a doctor capable of diagnosis is not universal even within a singular country or in my case the particular province I live in. I identify as surviving through both ADHD and Anorexia Nervosa. I do not need a doctor to tell me, and validate that I have significant problems with eating. Due to the physical ramifications of an eating disorder, a self-diagnosis is accepted as fact. In general, studies have suggested that there is a significant gendered factor to Eating Disorders, including the entire spectrum from Bulimia Nervosa to my own self-diagnosis of Anorexia Nervosa. On the topic of gender and following the topic of diagnosis is the matter of a huge population of girls and women who remain undiagnosed with ADHD due to the DSM-5 criteria and its bias towards symptoms that fall more on the male side of the disorder. Studies have shown the current levels of ones ADHD, recognizing that symptoms can at times be much more prevalent than other times, are fasting related. Furthermore, the concept of a peak in ADHD behaviours can be related to feelings of impulsivity and a general lack of control that can come to prevalence regarding food and consumption. Binge eating, which is characterized as consuming a large quantity of food in a short period of time, is closely related to the impulsivity that is so recognized as a part of ADHD. The logic behind this relates to the hyper-focus on a particular topic that accompanies a lack of concentration of a subject unrelated to the particular fixation, resulting in an intended or unintended fast; the body responds when finally given the fuel it was deprived of by consuming all within sight. From my personal perspective, I understand that controlling my impulsivity plays a role in my eating disorder. I find peace in the control I take over my ADHD mindset and predisposition to binge eating by starving myself of not only nutrients by joyous foods and food-related activities. Generally speaking, the activity of eating is a break for most people, with their lunch break signifying a rest time during the workday. My mind has two functions; stop and go, meaning I have a hard time stopping an activity for a break to eat, and fall into holes of restricting and bingeing. On the eating disorder side of this comorbid combination is a dreadful shame that accompanies the binges, and fuels my desire to prolong the restriction phases. This is a spiral that the longer you restrict, the less control you have when you finally binge, and then the eating disorder voices tell you to compensate by restricting longer and harder, only to inevitably trigger another binge. This may look grim, but one of the benefits of comorbid illnesses is the treatment is also comorbid, or occurring at once. With treatment of my impulse control, I can target both the ADHD and ED behaviours. Furthermore, in relation to eating disorders, there is no medication that will cure you, however in my opinion eating disorders are commonly a symptom, or better phrased a coping mechanism to another illness, meaning that the impulsivity that enables binge eating can be treated on its own, and thus have a positive effect on the binges, although not directly treating. It is important to remember that eating disorders are mental illnesses and cannot be treated through physical means alone, meaning treating the psychological symptoms will result in physical benefits, like better coping strategies than starving yourself for control. Sources: Ptacek, Radek et al. “Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and disordered eating behaviors: links, risks, and challenges faced.”Dove Press Journal Neuropsychiatric Disease and Treatment. 2016. Sala, L et al. “Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder symptoms and psychological comorbidity in eating disorder patients.” Eat Weight Disord. 2018. Yao, Shuyang et al. “Associations Between Attention-Deficit/ Hyperactivity Disorder and Various Eating Disorders: A Swedish Nationwide Population Study Using Multiple Genetically Informative Approaches.” Society of Biological Psychiatry. 2019. Author: Lori MacIntyre My journey as the mom of a girl with ADHD began about 6 months ago, when out of the blue, my 16 year old daughter told me something was wrong – she was having trouble focusing. We booked a visit with our family doctor, and were given some questionnaires for my daughter, her teacher and I to complete before the appointment. Our doctor reviewed the results of the questionnaires and she was diagnosed with ADHD the same day. She left with a prescription for ADHD medication. I was actually a little bit shocked with the speedy diagnosis, but she started the medication the next day, and she noticed some immediate improvement in her ability to focus. In fact, she said she finally felt “normal”. We also got busy working with school staff to put into place a customized learning plan to ensure her learning needs were met in the classroom setting. Both the meds and the IEP have needed some tweaking over the past several months, but things are moving in the right direction. Since the diagnosis, we have been on a steep learning curve to understand ADHD, especially how it manifests in women and girls. My knowledge of ADHD was limited to begin with. What little I did know about ADHD was about symptoms observed most often in boys who can’t sit still or act out in school. I was completely unaware that the behaviours that I had been observing for years in my daughter were actually symptoms of ADHD. When I think of the comments teachers consistently made over the years, I am stunned at the lack of awareness that even educators have on ADHD in girls. She is textbook inattentive ADHD type. Never once did any teacher suggest that my daughter should be assessed. In fact, there were a lot of negative value judgments placed on her ADHD symptoms by teachers, and I am sure this impacted her own beliefs about her potential for academic success. I have since learned a lot about the inattention aspect of ADHD, and how easily confused these symptoms are with negative behaviours such as disorganization, forgetfulness, laziness, poor follow through, etc. When I reflect on my response as a parent to what I know now are ADHD symptoms, I realize now why my approach to addressing these behaviours was wholly ineffective, and in fact, negatively impacted my relationship with my daughter. I know that my lack of awareness about ADHD lead to me holding my daughter responsible for behaviours she did not understand and could not control. How much pain and conflict between us could have been avoided had I known then what I know now? How many years of academic achievement could have been better supported if I had understood and advocated for teachers to adequately meet her needs? As they say, when you know better, you do better. I offer a few suggestions which have really helped me along this journey so that I can better support my daughter –
Author: Georgia Macdonald-Danvers | Content Warning: Death, Loss, Mental Illness This piece is a personal account of my experience as a neurodivergent individual experiencing the loss of my Nana, Marlene May Betty Danvers (1944-2021). My Nana was such a kindhearted woman, she never had the chance to see what I am working on over here but I know she would be proud of the hard work and passion going into this project. I hope there is someone out here who can read this, relate, grow, and learn alongside me. Hi friends, it has been a while. Just as this journey began, I had to take a break. At first, that was hard for me to swallow, as this has been the current thing I have been hyper-fixated on. At first, I wanted to keep pushing and working, but as I account for the last few weeks of my life you will see how that did not go as planned. This story starts before ADH-She was even thought of. To be transparent, this starts before my diagnosis and that makes my timeline especially blurry. So we'll start from where I know when this website was started. At that point, my grandmother's health was declining during her fight with lung cancer accompanied by Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. My Nana Marlene was a glowing woman and one of the greatest people I have known, I loved to laugh with her and the parts of her I see in myself I hold near and dear. Getting the news that someone you love is passing is never easy, but the symptoms of a neurological disorder can impact the experience. Not only was the grief already started, but the anxiety around this massive negative life change I could see ahead was setting in and only getting stronger. This led me to work and plan constantly for what I was so afraid of, my life is forever changed. I was in a constant rush cleaning, reaching out to my University just in case, anything I could to feel like nothing bad was going to happen or that I was "ready" for something that I couldn't even understand. This is what I see now (after a chat with my therapist... if you don't have one, get one) as compartmentalizing my pain, the reality of my situation was that my grasp for control was a tool to distract and it worked. There was a point and time where I would get into such a deep space of hyperfocus I would forget what was happening a few hours away. These symptoms of hyperfocus and coping are not uncommon especially in a female with ADHD. I felt a lot of guilt when I would sit down at the end of the day to realize I was not even thinking about how anyone was doing. In saying that, I had to become more aware that these feelings that were surfacing were unlike anything I have ever felt as this was my first experience having to even think about losing someone so close. That grief can weigh heavily and can make your thoughts so overwhelming. So, my mind shut them off. My subconscious changed my priorities and thoughts and I was working hard, until April 22nd. The morning was like any other, I had actually just arrived at a shift at my job. When I say the moments in and around receiving the phone call about my Nana were a catastrophe, that is an understatement. All of a sudden the medication I had just taken to help with my mood, focus, and wellbeing were deemed ineffective, my support system was at home, I couldn't even think. For anyone in this situation, all you can do is reach out and try your best. All I could think to do was call my mom. We talked until I gained some composure so I could get myself home from the shift that never even started. I think this is a part of the story I want to tell because it highlights why sometimes even hearing the voice of a loved one can change everything. The rest of that day is not something I can share, I wasn't really there. In the context of my ADHD, dissociating was not a great experience. I have found the space between all of that time to be upsetting and confusing even now that I have moved past that feeling of mental "blackout". That feeling was not incredibly familiar to me and I still am trying to understand. I guess this means we've entered the aftermath, what happened after and what I am doing now. I still feel negative feelings towards myself I am trying to combat for the time leading up to the funeral, I stayed in my ignorant bliss, pushing things aside, and continued working in isolation. Afterwards, I had (what I consider to be) the worst streak of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria I had ever faced, which was another symptom I did not expect to come out of this. I'll spare the details of the outburst, but the lesson learned was that sometimes you cannot predict or control how something will make you feel. That may not seem encouraging, but the comfort I have found is that I tried, am still trying, and not every situation is a success especially when dealing with conflict regarding mental health. I tried my hardest to be the best friend, family member, peer that I could and although a bridge was burned in the process, that may not have been the bridge that was meant to support me. For me, this wound is still so fresh, I still feel so much. Writing this piece is the first time I have sat down and thought about what happened over these last couple of weeks. Working through my ADHD symptoms and how they connect to this mourning process is still incredibly new for me as well. So I wanted to break my (almost) month-long silence by writing this. I did not know where it was going when I started typing this morning, but what I did know is I am not the only one who has had to feel this way. Being thrown into this emotional upset was not easy, but it wasn't meant to be. These hard times are the times where I feel like I want to spread knowledge even more. I want to share my hardships and pain that has lead to beautiful life lessons or at least silver linings within the darkest clouds. To those who have made it to the end of this post, thank you. I hope even if it is not in the most direct sense, you can be touched by or take a lesson from the story I shared today. |